


Saw It All The Way

by halflightwrites



Series: Champions [1]
Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Alley Blow Jobs, First Kiss, I basically rewrote the movie (sue me), Idiots in Love, M/M, Secret Crush, Seven Deadly Sins, Superheroes, Superpowers as a Plot Convenience, idiots in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18711580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halflightwrites/pseuds/halflightwrites
Summary: Two years ago, Billy Batson received his powers from the wizard Shazam.A week later, he found his mom.A month after that, a new hero appeared.Or, the revised story of how Billy Batson discovered himself, found his home, and fell in love in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

Billy watched the news report, his spoon sinking to the handle in his dry cereal. There hadn’t been any milk in the fridge. 

On the television screen, a bus crashed through the cement wall of the highway, tipping dangerously before being lifted and carefully replaced on the ground by a blue human-shaped blur. The caption scrolling at the bottom read, _Blue Marvel Saves 23._

“Who does this guy think he is?” Travis asked from his home on the recliner, a beer already in his fist. 

“A superhero, I’d assume,” Billy answered, though Travis probably hadn’t wanted a response. He tended to voice his opinions unprompted, without thought as to whether or not they were relevant or warranted, or if anyone around him actually wanted to hear them. 

“So he’s got a fancy suit and some powers and he thinks he can just swoop in and take over? As if this city doesn’t have enough problems.” Travis tipped his beer toward the screen where a reporter was now speaking. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s what a superhero is supposed to do.” Billy dumped his cereal in the trash and came to stand beside the recliner, out of reach but close enough to see the hero now as the news replayed the video of the crash; Billy could make out the gold accents on the suit, the white flutter of the cape from the man’s movement, a familiar lightning bolt on his chest. “It’s kind of in their job description.”

Travis scoffed, “You think you’re so smart, huh?”

“Not as much as you,” Billy said, and Travis huffed, the remark flying well beyond his understanding.

“These damn heroes think we owe them something just because they show up when it’s convenient for them. As if they’re better than all of us, while we’re out here doing real jobs and paying taxes.”

Billy rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue. “This guys not all that.” He jabbed his thumb toward the screen and Travis laughed.

“You think you could do better?” he asked.

_That’s the goal._

Billy didn’t answer, just slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed out into the hallway, already late for school. 

 

Two years ago, Billy received his powers from the wizard Shazam, in some desperate attempt at creating a hero. It was a last ditch effort on the wizard’s part, and the wizard hadn’t even stuck around long enough to face the consequences of it. 

A week later, Billy found his mom, after Eugene tracked her down and told him where to look, and by the end of that same week he’d moved out of the Vasquez’s after nearly seven months there and returned home—a dingy one bedroom apartment two subway stops down the line—without a backward glance.

A month later, the news caught wind of a new hero: a man wearing Billy’s suit, only blue. A man with Billy’s powers, only he didn’t use them the way Billy did. He shied away from the cameras and questions. He appeared, he fought—sometimes back to back with Billy, and in those moments Billy could almost pretend that was how it was meant to be, that they were allies or even teammates, that it wasn’t just the villains and criminals that brought them together over and over again—and the guy rescued people, then he left without much fanfare. And Billy couldn’t stand it.

As much as he hated Travis, the man had a point. What kind of hero didn’t want praise for his work? How could he just brush off the reporter’s calls and slip out of the limelight so easily? Why didn’t it call to him the way it called to Billy?

“You’re out of it, Batson,” a voice said, pulling Billy out of his head. He looked up to find Freddy standing over him, leaning sideways against his crutch and gripping a lunch tray in his hand. 

"Mind if I sit?” Freddy asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before kicking the chair out beside Billy and plopping down into it.

In the months that Billy spent with the Vasquez’s, Freddy had been his constant companion for roughly one, until Billy had turned on him in the hallway and plainly stated he had no interest in being Freddy's—or anyone else’s—friend. He didn’t need friends, he needed to find his mom and get his life back. When that happened, Freddy had congratulated him, but there’d been a bitterness in his tone that let Billy know Freddy wasn't going to miss him.

In the years since, Freddy hadn’t bothered him outside of an occasional nod in the hallway or working through their assignments together when paired in classes. It stung, like something missed only after the fact, but Billy didn’t try to fix whatever friendship they might have had. He didn’t need friends, and he knew he deserved Freddy’s cold shoulder.

“Did you see Blue Marvel’s latest save?” Freddy asked, chewing on a limp fry.

Billy didn’t say anything. He didn’t know why Freddy was suddenly talking to him again.

“I heard it was sure to be a bloodbath without his help. It was really good he showed up, huh? I wonder why Red Cyclone didn’t show. Maybe he had something better to do.”

“It’s not a competition,” Billy said.

“Isn’t it, though? I mean, they’ve got the same powers, hell, they’ve got the same chest logo, too. That doesn’t seem weird to you?” 

“Maybe they’re friends. From the same league or whatever.”

Freddy scoffed and his nose scrunched up with the sound, dark eyebrows disappearing beneath his curls. “I don’t think Red is a friends type of guy. In fact, I think he’s kind of a huge jerk.” 

With that, Freddy picked up his tray and his crutch and left Billy sitting there alone.

 

It wasn’t that Billy never thought about where Blue Marvel came from—he thought about it all the time. It wasn’t an obsession or anything, just natural curiosity about his competition. If some guy suddenly showed up boasting all of _your_ trademarks, it’s only rational to be a little pissy about it, especially since it happened so soon after Billy got the hang of his powers. 

He’d asked Blue once, after they’d subdued a group of criminals that had been under Greed’s influence, where Blue got his powers. 

“Same place as you, I’d guess,” Blue said.

Slowly, through hints from Blue and some digging on Billy’s part, at the Rock of Eternity and in the library of all places, where he’d found a few sparse accounts on ancient Egyptian magic and appearances of the Seven Deadly Sins throughout history, Billy pieced together a somewhat logical picture. 

As far as he knew, Blue was right; Billy had gotten his powers from the wizard Shazam, but during their encounter Shazam had mentioned his equally-magical siblings. Billy hadn’t focused on that information in the moment, too concerned with the crazy man in front of him and the dark, wet cave around him and then too stunned by his new body and powers to think about it after. It wasn’t until Blue suddenly appeared that Billy bothered to think about it at all. It was possible Shazam hadn’t been the only wizard from the council still alive, though he had failed to mention that to Billy before he turned into a pile of dust.

Blue talked a lot. He kept up a constant stream of commentary while they fought, taunting the bad guys and throwing stupid remarks Billy’s way. But whenever Billy tried to get information out of him the guy turned serious and tight-lipped. Sometimes Billy caught him off guard, and he would nod or frown or tilt his head in a way that Billy took as yes or no. 

Here is what Billy knew: Blue had gotten his powers from another member of the Council of Wizards, though Billy didn’t know why or who; maybe Shazam’s sibling didn’t agree with his choice of Champion, which was fine by Billy, because he didn’t either. Blue had all of the same powers as him, but he was faster when they raced in mid-air. Billy didn’t know if this was from the wizard or practice. Blue knew about the Rock of Eternity; Billy had never run into him there, but Blue hadn’t looked surprised when Billy mentioned it. Blue’s body was part of the power package, just like Billy’s was, but Billy didn’t know who he was, what he actually looked like, or even how old he really was. Blue had specifically avoided those topics.

It wasn’t that Billy cared. But knowing your competition made it easier to win, and Billy didn’t like _not_ knowing. Aside from desperate hope, there was a reason he spent a decade searching for his mom; he knew she was out there, and the thought of living without knowing was unbearable. It wasn’t an option.

He’d found her, even if what he found wasn’t what he’d wanted and the reality made his search feel short-sighted and stupid in hindsight.

Now Blue was a new challenge. One Billy intended to win.

 

His mom had already gone to her second job at the diner by the time Billy got home. 

Billy tucked his backpack into the gap between the wall and the couch, then splashed water on his face in the bathroom. His blanket was missing, so he took a moment to look for it, peeking down the back of the couch and pulling out the drawers of the china cabinet that he used as a dresser, but it wasn't there. He would have to find it before he went to sleep, but right now his mind was elsewhere. 

Billy didn’t bother with dinner. He knew there wouldn’t be anything waiting for him in the kitchen and he didn’t have time to make something himself. He slipped back out of the apartment before Travis could notice him and climbed the stairs to the roof, jostling the access door open with his shoulder. The crack of lightning blended in with the gathering storm clouds as it struck his chest.

Billy flew north, looking for anything that seemed off and waiting for the feeling in his gut that told him to intervene. He found what he was looking for after an hour of flying.

“I didn’t know if you’d show!” Blue called as Billy landed.

In the street below them, a crowd had gathered. It was nearing dark, but Billy could pick out the details of the people below. Some held cell phones, their screens a sharp white even from twenty stories up, and he caught the spark of lighters in other’s hands. The people jostled and shouting started, rising indistinct to Billy’s ears, before all hell broke loose. Billy caught the flash of metal in a cell phone glow and his heart shuddered the way it always did before a fight. 

Screams rose to meet them, but the crowd didn’t scatter. It remained pressed together, a bursting mess of bodies, even as violence and blood erupted. 

Blue pulled Billy’s attention back up, to the roof adjacent to them where a dark, hunched figure sat watching the people below. The demon’s red eyes flashed like a warning.

“Wrath,” Billy said. 

Blue nodded. Billy followed the line of his nose, the city lights blurring to indistinction beyond it. “Tag team?” Blue asked.

Billy propelled himself off the roof without answering, but he heard Blue follow. 

Wrath met his eyes when he landed, lips pulling down as a snarl crawled from its ugly mouth. Billy rocketed forward, fist drawn, but the demon phased into smoke just before he made contact with it, its stony flesh dissolving into air before reconstructing just as Billy hit the ground. 

_Stupid_ , Billy thought. Of course that wouldn’t work, and he knew it. The Sins’ forms went in and out at will, which always made fighting them tricky—and Billy should remember that by now, he’d been fighting them since he’d first gotten his powers.

“Great hit,” Blue said from behind him, just as Wrath lunged. Billy tried to roll out of reach, but the demon grabbed him, lifting him off of his feet before slamming him back down. The impact of the concrete did nothing to him, but the feeling of it was like bones shattering.

Magic bests magic, Sivana's voice sounded in his head.

Billy had been fighting the doctor, with the help of Blue, for two years now. Every time they came close to beating him, the doctor used the Sins to overpower them or somehow managed to escape. He was older, smarter, and always a step ahead. The Sins resided in the glowing orb of his eye and came out only to wreak havoc occasionally, remaining as elusive as their human vessel and just as nasty.

Wrath threw Billy off the roof. It was better than being nearly eaten again, so Billy couldn’t really complain.

He righted himself just before he hit the street. The crowd had mostly broken up by now, and the few people left stood aimlessly on the asphalt, confusion and fear written in their expressions. Now that Wrath’s attention was on Billy and Blue, the demon’s influence wasn’t affecting them, no longer stirring their feelings of anger and resentment into actual violence and action. 

Billy saw the flash of lightning before he recleared the roof edge. By the time he landed at Blue’s side, the superhero had already dispatched the demon. A hazy cloud lingered where Wrath had been before disappearing completely into the darkness, probably returning to Sivana’s eye until next time or going wherever demons went when they wanted to get away.

Blue grinned at Billy and Billy rolled his eyes. That hadn’t gone the way he’d planned, but it didn’t really matter; there was no one around to see. Except Blue.

“Remember what I was saying before about strategy, Red? I feel like you didn’t take that into consideration.” 

“I had a plan,” Billy lied.

“Was your plan getting thrown off the roof and letting me do all the work? Because if so, that’s a great plan. And it worked!” 

“Look if you think you’re so good at this, why am I here?” Billy asked. He didn’t understand the way Blue teased him, as if they knew each other well enough to do that. He didn’t like that Blue was right, or how easily the superhero saw through him—Billy never thought things through, he leapt straight into a fight without thinking about where to land. It was easier that way, because if he stopped to think about what he was doing, doubt crept in. 

When Billy first got his powers, he spent the first few weeks fumbling as he discovered them, making a name for himself on the street and not doing much else. Until Blue showed up, Billy didn’t want to look for danger and he didn’t have a reason to step in and help anyone. Shazam’s decision to name Billy Champion didn’t mean he was one, at least not until Blue gave him a reason to try. 

But that doubt lingered still, rising to the surface when Billy faced Sivana and saw first hand how evenly matched they were. Or when Blue pointed out how bad he actually was at being a hero, not that Billy didn’t try constantly to prove him wrong.

Blue shrugged. “How should I know? Obviously you’re getting something out of it, or else you wouldn’t come back every night. I’m sure the interviews and press coverage is a nice high for you, it’d probably be hard to quit that. This though,” Blue spread his arms to hold the sky above him, the dark made hazy by the building lights, and then brought them down again, toward everything else: the city and its people, “I bet this would be easy.”

“You don’t know me,” Billy said.

Blue shrugged again and ran a hand through his hair, but the curls spilled from his palm and settled back into place easily. “I know enough.” He turned, and Billy noticed the faltering step he took off his left foot, as if he were nursing a sore spot. Blue looked back and touched two fingers to his temple in a mock salute. “I’ll see you later, Red.”

Billy watched Blue as he flew away, until his shape faded behind the glare of the city lights.

 

When Billy slipped inside the apartment, it was well past three ᴀᴍ. 

The kitchen light was on, casting an orange glow sideways onto the couch and as he tried to curl into a comfortable position, Billy could hear his mom moving around. But she didn’t call out his name and he didn’t announce himself. His blanket hadn’t magically reappeared, so he stayed in his regular clothes. He’d gotten used to sleeping fully dressed anyway, because he didn’t feel comfortable falling asleep in less when his bedroom was the living room, and he would be ready in case he needed to jump up from sleep for any reason. 

Billy didn’t like the choices he’d made, but he’d accepted them. There was nothing he could do now; he’d spent so long looking for his mom, he wasn’t going to just admit defeat because the love he’d hoped for wasn’t a reality. 

He rarely saw her, and in the scattered moments that he did, between her shifts at the gas station and diner and his quick stops before he left at night to patrol, his mom didn’t ask him things. Not about how school was going, or if he had friends, or if he was happy. 

Billy wasn’t, and so her lack of concern was almost better; if he didn’t admit it out loud, he could almost pretend it wasn’t true. He occupied himself with classes and music and during the long, solitary hours at night where he might let himself consider how badly he’d fucked up, Billy had patrol to distract him.

It’s not like he could leave anyway—he had nowhere to go. The Vasquez’s had been nice, Billy had felt a warmth there that he hadn’t at previous foster homes, but he’d burned that bridge when he left. Billy made damn sure they wouldn’t take him back; he’d pushed back at all of their attempts until Victor and Rosa stopped trying to include him with the rest of the family and Darla stopped looking disappointed when Billy denied her hugs and Freddy stopped talking to him entirely. 

The last few months there had been awkward and painful and entirely Billy’s fault, but he didn’t know how to fix it and at the time he hadn’t felt a need to; he was going to find his mom again, and then his life at the Vasquez’s wouldn’t matter. 

Billy had told himself that every single day but he never reached a point where he believed it. Even if he lived with his mom now, he could have stayed in contact with them. He could have had friends and people to turn to when life at home wasn’t great, which it almost never was. Instead he had no one, people that could have been something more but he’d chosen to make them strangers, and a list of things that he would do over if he ever got the chance.

It was stupid to dwell on that when it was impossible, but the thought kept Billy from falling asleep. Freddy and Blue’s words repeated in his head until Billy couldn’t pretend anymore. He unlocked his knees and got up from the couch. In the kitchen, his mom sat at the table, her face in her hands and her elbows pressed against the peeling laminate. 

Billy went back to the roof and watched the sun rise above the city. 

When he returned downstairs to get ready for school, he heard Travis and his mom’s argument before he even opened the apartment door. The topic wasn’t a new one.

“We can’t afford to keep running a shelter here, Marilyn. They’re cutting people at the plant and I might be one of them and you can’t take on more hours. The boy’s old enough to take care of himself. We shouldn’t have to.”

Billy paused outside the kitchen, out of sight against the wall. “We’ve been over this, Travis. He’s just a kid. He spent his whole life looking for me, I couldn’t just tell him no.”

“Why not? Life isn’t all rosy colored and easy, the boy needs to learn that. It’s either him living on the street or all of us. You want to keep up this family act when we’re begging for scraps?” Travis laughed, a deep, mean sound. “Stop being a bitch and tell him the truth. I’m done catering to him just because he wants to live in some fantasy.”

Billy didn’t want to hear this, he didn’t want to face his mom and whatever she was going to say. He thought to turn for the door again—he could just skip school today, because if the Breyer’s saw him in yesterday’s clothes they wouldn’t let him go without pointing it out.

Travis stepped out of the kitchen and sighed when he saw Billy standing there, but all he said was, “Marilyn.” 

Billy’s mom stopped in front of him, her arms folded around herself as if she were the one that needed comforting. “Billy,” she said. “Baby, where have you been?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” 

Across the living room, Travis ripped Billy’s backpack from it’s spot beside the couch and pulled open the drawers of the china cabinet. 

“What are you doing with my stuff?” Billy asked, moving to stop Travis, but his mom set hands on his arms to hold him in place. Travis shoved Billy’s stuff into the backpack, and the pathetic sum fit alongside his textbooks easily—two t-shirts, two jackets, and a pair of jeans that Rosa had bought him. They were getting small, his ankles showed when he wore them, but it was all he had.

“Billy. Look at me,” his mom said. Her nails dug into his arms until he met her eyes, and even then she didn’t release her grip. He wondered if things would be different if she’d held on this tightly earlier, when he needed her. “This is for the best. You can manage, can’t you? Promise you won’t be a problem, baby. Can you do that?” 

Billy shook his head. He tried to say, _you can’t do this_ , but what came out was, “Don’t do this.” Not again.

Travis took Billy’s arm. He ripped open the apartment door and shoved Billy across the threshold. “Here,” he said, setting Billy’s backpack in his hands, and Billy thought he saw something like sympathy in the man’s eyes. It was probably just pity, or a figment of Billy’s imagination. He didn’t know. Nothing about this moment felt real and where Billy should be fighting, or panicking, or _anything_ at all, he just felt numb.

Before Travis shut the door, Billy saw his mom’s face; she closed her eyes, her arms locked at the back of her neck as she exhaled. It was blank and she was dry-eyed, a far cry from the expressions on Rosa and Victor’s faces as he walked away.

He’d been so fucking stupid.

The door closed and the lock clicked. 

Billy stood frozen for a long moment, chest threatening to cave in against his ribs, then he brought his fists up and banged on the door. He pounded on the wood and yelled until his throat burned, until his cheeks were slick with tears and the panic finally set it. Until the neighbors’ doors swung open and they stepped outside, with questions and threats. Billy pulled himself from his knees where he’d collapsed on the stained carpet.

He did the only thing he knew how to do. He ran.

 

Billy swiped clothes off a sidewalk rack and didn’t stick around to let the empty hangers settle. He slipped inside a gas station and pocketed the things Travis hadn’t bothered to let him take—a toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, and enough food to keep him going for a few days. He used a crumpled few dollars to pay for a soda, just to keep the cashier’s eyes off his back, then Billy put as much distance between himself and the morning as possible. 

He changed into Red and ducked into a public restroom before anyone could spot him, stripping out of the costume in the largest stall and changing into the clothes he’d stolen. The t-shirt was baggy, but it worked to hide his body, and the sweatpants were too small, showing off several inches of ankle like his worn jeans. He shoved his waded costume into his backpack, used the mirror and sink to mess up his hair as much as possible, then walked without knowing where to go. 

Billy spent the first night curled in the shadow of an alley’s mouth, out of sight of the street lights and passerby, shaking against the brick and blinking back tears. The second night he rode the subway until the line shut down, then hopped the PACTO turnstile and dozed off in a seat at the back of the train, until the sun came up and it filled at morning rush hour, crowding Billy against strangers and stirring his panic again. 

People were less likely to question an adult wandering around, but Billy still tried not to be noticed; if someone recognized him outside of the costume, he’d get questions that he couldn’t answer. 

The sun was setting again as he slipped out of the crowd on the sidewalk and ducked into an alleyway. Billy had been working on instinct, the way he used to when he ran away from foster homes and spent weeks fending for himself. He knew how, but it had been long enough since he’d done it that it felt uncomfortable, like the clothes he wore and the hunger that pulled at him.

Billy had counted on his mom and Travis not caring and the school not noticing he was missing, but he hadn’t considered someone else might.

Still, when he looked up and saw who was waiting for him at the other end of the alley, Billy wasn’t surprised. 

“You know I didn’t really mean it, when I said you should quit. I was just teasing you. I didn’t think you’d actually take it seriously.” Blue’s eyes trailed over Billy’s body, then back up to his face.

“I didn’t quit,” Billy said.

“Just taking a break then? Kind of a bold move since you’re so addicted to the fame, though I could see it working in your favor. Stay away long enough and the news will eat it up when you show up again.” 

Billy set his jaw and looked away. He didn’t owe Blue an explanation. 

Blue stepped forward, and Billy stepped back. “Whoa, hey.” Blue held his hands up, as if Billy were a wounded animal he needed to coax. “Are you alright? Who are you running from?”

Billy didn’t understand how Blue could do that so easily, look right through him as if Billy were made of glass and all of his secrets and fears and soul were visible. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Billy said, because it was the closest thing to the truth he could manage. He couldn’t explain to Blue what happened, not without revealing his identity, or at least enough of it to give himself away. Blue was smart and brave and good, he didn’t need all of the problems Billy brought with him.

“You sure about that?” Blue asked. “It kinda seems like it matters. Dude, you look like you just peeled yourself off the street and I can smell you from here. I’m immune to lying, too, it’s one of my superpowers.”

Billy couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was just so stupid to be getting made fun of, by his superpowered partner-slash-rival of all people. 

Blue smiled with all of his teeth, and the sight pulled at Billy’s chest. It felt familiar, though Billy couldn’t remember ever seeing a genuine smile on Blue before. Smiling wasn’t necessarily something you saw a lot of during fights—taunting and closed-mouth smirks, sure, but not real, full smiles. 

“You want to tell me the truth now?” 

“No.” Billy shook his head. He stepped forward and Blue didn’t step back. 

Billy reached out and moved Blue backward beneath his hands, until his back hit the brick wall of the alley. Billy had never done this before, but as he leaned forward it was as if all of his worry and fear and insecurity drained out of him, all of his focus zeroed in on the guy in front of him. His hands were shaking as their mouths met, but it wasn’t from nerves. 

Blue kissed him with as much force as Billy gave, and suddenly Billy was thankful he’d bothered to brush his teeth that morning. Billy let himself feel, hands roaming against the rough surface of Blue’s suit, over the muscles in his chest and arms and back, to the small, hidden zipper there. 

Blue gripped his arms, but didn’t pull back as Billy slipped the fabric down, uncovering a broad, pale chest and fine boned hips. Blue sighed, almost obliviously, and threaded his fingers through Billy’s hair as Billy settled on his knees. His backpack hit the ground beside him and Blue said, “You’re gonna regret this.”

“Stop talking.”

Blue’s laugh became strangled as Billy licked his lips and took him into his mouth. He gagged, and Blue’s hand tightened at his scalp, but Blue stayed silent. Billy kept going, until Blue’s breathing turned ragged and uneven above him and his grip in Billy’s hair bordered on painful. 

It was good. Somehow it was exactly what he needed right now, though he hadn’t known to look for it until his body took over. Instinct. 

Billy didn’t know how much time passed—seconds or minutes or lifetimes, where the only thing that mattered was the heat and weight of Blue in his mouth and the way Blue held him in place against the asphalt. Blue’s grip went slack as he came, and Billy fought through the salty-sour taste of it, swallowing it back without thinking.

“Fuck,” Blue said.

Billy wiped at his mouth, rubbed the spit onto his dirty pants, and stood up. Blue didn't meet his eyes, his attention had been caught by something to their right. When Billy followed where Blue was looking, everything came back down on him at once.

A demon hung, concealed in a pocket of shadow, against the wall at the mouth of the alley. It’s red eyes watched them, unblinking, and Billy thought he could make out the amusement on its ugly face. 

Billy moved without thinking, hands locking around Lust’s throat in an instant. The demon cackled, the laugh rolling like thunder against his ears, and dissolved into smoke.

Blue set a hand on his shoulder and Billy flinched. He held up his hands again, his suit back in place, but Billy shook his head. “Don’t.”

“Okay,” Blue said. “I’ll leave you alone, I promise. Just know you can find me, if you want to.”

Billy didn’t meet his eyes, but he nodded. Since he’d run away from the apartment building, he hadn’t let himself break down. It wasn’t helpful. But now, after so many nights without rest and a decent meal, he couldn’t help facing it fully. 

Billy felt awful, and what just happened only made him feel worse; Blue was nothing to him and the only reason Billy just got him off was because he’d been under the influence of a demon.

Billy watched Blue’s shadow as it shrunk away from him, but Blue stopped suddenly. When Billy looked up, he found something familiar on Blue’s face and his chest ached. He didn’t need this guy’s pity. He didn’t deserve it.

“Do you want my advice?” Blue asked.

“You’re going to tell me, anyway.”

Blue smiled, tight-lipped. “Go home, Red. You can still fix things.” 

He was gone before Billy could even open his mouth to argue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. a. Sivana is just normally evil in this, he doesn't have supervillian powers™ & can't fly or shoot lightning? b. The Sins are basically Percy Jackson villains, please just go with it. c. The Champion's powers transfer based on what both parties are thinking (taking vs. giving). I know it doesn't make sense, let me _live_.  
> 2\. This unintentionally became a Love, Simon au, oops.  
> 3\. Title is from Seafret's song Bad Blood.


	2. Chapter 2

The house looked exactly the same. 

It was ironic, Billy thought, standing there in the same outfit he left in and feeling just as confused and torn. Not because he didn’t want to stay, but because he did. And he had no idea if the family inside would take him back.

There were a few breathless seconds after he rang the doorbell where Billy had to talk himself out of turning and running away, just like all the times he'd stood waiting outside stranger's doors, hoping his mom was on the other side. Every single one interrupted for nothing.

Pedro opened the door. He didn’t say anything, but the single eyebrow he raised conveyed a million times more than words could have.

“Hey,” Billy said. “Is, um—are Rosa and Victor home?” It was a stupid question, because it was a Saturday and the van was obviously parked in the driveway. But Billy had only let himself think as far as this moment, because if he considered past that he would have talked himself out of coming.

Pedro moved aside to let him in, then gestured toward the kitchen before leaving him standing there. Billy swallowed back his nerves and stepped through the doorway.

Victor saw him first, but Rosa must have noticed his expression because she turned sharply in her chair. 

“Billy?” she said, and then she was pulling him against her. It was awkward and his first instinct was to fight it—he hadn’t touched or been touched by anyone aside from Blue since he moved in with his mom, at least not in affection. 

Billy leaned against her, and the weight of the last few days seemed to lessen, just a little.

“Are you okay? You look awful,” Rosa said. 

Billy choked out a laugh and looked between them. “Can I stay here?” he asked before he could lose his nerve. “I promise I won’t be a problem again. I just—I don’t have anywhere else to go and this is—” _Home_ , Blue had said, though he couldn’t have known what that meant to Billy. “I’m sorry for leaving.”

Victor shook his head, then he uncrossed his arms and pulled Billy against him. Rosa closed their hug on his other side, and Billy stood held between them. “Of course you can stay, Billy. Don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

 _Stupid_ , Billy thought. He should have known they’d take him back, even after everything.

“Aw,” A familiar voice said from behind him, and Billy turned to find Freddy leaning in the doorway. “I don’t know if I’m up for sharing my room again. I definitely didn’t miss your snoring.”

Billy couldn’t help it, he laughed. He was so fucking relieved, and standing there he was struck with just how much he’d missed Freddy. His stupid jokes and obsessions and the way he smiled with his entire face, all of his teeth peeking out from behind his lips. 

Freddy laughed too, and for the first time in as long as Billy could remember, things felt like they might actually be okay.

 

It took Billy a week before he got back into the routine of the house. 

He spent the beginning of that week sitting between Rosa and Victor at the Child Welfare office, explaining what happened in as little detail as possible and mostly blaming himself, just for the sake of ease; as much as he didn’t want to, he still loved his mom, and the idea of her going to jail over him was unbearable. He told them it just hadn’t worked out, that he felt everyone would be better off if he returned to the Vasquez’s, and the case worker seemed to accept this, likely just because it was easier than opening a proper investigation.

Billy spent the rest of that week catching up on the schoolwork he’d missed and remembering every small detail of the house and its inhabitants; the bathroom routine everyone abided to like clockwork; the way Darla’s hugs felt and the unspoken suggestion to avoid everything that she cooked; Eugene yelling at the television constantly, though his insults had gotten better in the time Billy was away; the sound of Freddy’s crutch on the hardwood and his voice in the morning, sleepy but just as opinionated as ever; the simple way that Rosa and Victor shared affection, with looks and nods and slight touches, which Billy stopped flinching at by his first night back.

At dinner, he put his hand on the pile with everyone else’s and didn’t feel stupid doing it, even when Freddy snickered into his shoulder at the sight. 

It felt good, being surrounded by people who he could relax around. Billy hadn’t realized how empty his mom’s apartment had been until he felt the warmth and love that filled every square inch of the Vasquez’s. 

Billy hadn’t gone on patrol in that week, though. Partially because he didn’t want to risk doing anything that might jeopardize his renewed place in this family, and sneaking out at night seemed like a surefire way to do just that, but mostly because he wasn’t ready to face Blue yet.

“Red Cyclone still hasn’t shown up,” Freddy told him before bed, scrolling through the local news on his phone. “Do you have another stupid excuse for him?” It felt like Freddy was testing him, though Billy wasn’t sure why.

Billy shrugged, moving his eyes back to the ceiling. “He’ll show up again. Maybe he’s waiting for something.”

Freddy scoffed, but the sound wasn’t sharp. “Better be something good. If _I_ were Blue Marvel, I’d be pretty pissed if I had to cover the whole city by myself just because Red decided to take a week off.”

Billy didn’t say anything, and Freddy turned off the light.

Here is what Billy knew: he liked Blue Marvel. As little as he knew about him and as brief as most of their interactions were, there was a reason he thought about the guy constantly and felt the need to show off, even if Blue thought it was only for the press. Billy didn’t want to call it a crush, because that felt stupid, but he didn’t want to call it more than that, either, because that felt like too much. He didn’t know anything about the guy, other than the way he made Billy feel—safe and reassured and wanted. 

Here is what else Billy knew: Blue didn’t like him back. Billy was just some rival superhero to Blue, and whatever surface level connections they shared weren’t enough to matter in the long run. Blue was smart and good and he tried his best to help people because he thought it was the right thing to do. Billy didn’t even shine in comparison. They might have fucked around last week, but it didn’t mean anything; they’d both been under Lust’s influence. 

And just because the demon stirred Billy’s feelings for him, that didn’t mean the interaction was anything more than a means to get off to Blue. Lust was a basic desire, and one of the most simple Sins to exploit, from what Billy had witnessed over the years. It wasn’t an indication of anything that they’d fallen so easily for it.

Outside, lightning flashed, illuminating the dark bedroom for a split second.

Finally, Billy told himself to stop being stupid. Blue was obviously a professional and Billy would have to face him again eventually, it might as well be tonight.

He climbed silently down from the top bunk, pausing at the foot of the bed to make sure Freddy didn’t stir. His dark shape remained still, curled toward the wall with the comforter pulled up, so Billy slipped out of their bedroom and out the front door. 

The air outside bit at his exposed skin, his ankles below the cutoff of his jeans and his fingers where they poked out of his gloves. Billy walked to the end of the block before he called on the lightning, then flew east toward Center City.

Billy spotted a familiar blue-clad figure on the roof of an office building. He landed carefully behind Blue, who was crouched behind the short concrete wall at the edge of the roof, too focused on something across the street to notice his approach. When Billy touched his shoulder, Blue jumped, grabbing Billy by the arm and swinging him around to pin Billy against the wall. 

Billy lifted an eyebrow and Blue pulled him back up, away from the edge and the street below. “Dude, you can’t just sneak up on me like that. I could have killed you.”

“You weren’t paying attention,” Billy said. “But I’d like to see you try.”

Blue rolled his eyes, then pulled Billy down beside him and pointed over the wall. 

“What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“There,” Blue pointed to a wide bank of glass on the highest floor of the adjacent building. The lights were on inside and Billy could make out a long table and a dozen or so chairs surrounding it—a board room, though he didn’t know why it was important. Not until he noticed the gaping hole in the glass and the yellow flutter of police tape beyond it. 

Billy’s eyes trailed up, to the company name illuminated on the side of the building. _Sivana_.

“What happened?” Billy asked. 

“I don’t know, exactly.” Blue pulled away from the wall to face Billy. “The news is being real hush-hush about it, but I’m pretty sure Sivana walked into his dad’s company and murdered a ton of people. A spokesperson for the company said it was a ‘family dispute’ that ended badly, but I’m guessing it was less of an argument and more of a bloodbath.” 

“When?”

“This afternoon. It was on the nightly news.” 

Billy nodded. He didn’t watch the news, though now that Blue said it, it seemed like a good idea. “Do you know where he is now? What he’s planning?”

Blue shook his head. “No, to both. But it’s obviously something bad, right? People don’t normally just murder their father in cold blood. My parents weren't exactly winners, but I would never kill them.”

“People also don’t normally have actual Sins living in their eyes. I think we’re dealing with a special case here,” Billy said, and Blue laughed. 

“Okay, you got me there. We’re going to need to find him and figure out what he’s planning, though. Do you remember the last time we saw him, he said something about how the Sins were only getting stronger?”

“Yeah, they feed on chaos.”

Blue shot him a confused look. “How do you know that?”

Billy shrugged. “I read it somewhere.” At Blue’s raised eyebrow, Billy amended, “At the library.”

Blue hummed, “You didn’t strike me as the book type, Red.”

“What’s your point, about the Sins?” 

“Oh, right. Sivana must be planning something with them, right? I mean, obviously they’re using him as a host or whatever, but he seems like he’s in control whenever we fight him. It’s been two years and yet he hasn’t done anything really bad.” 

Blue held up a hand at Billy’s disbelieving look. “Supervillain bad, I mean. I feel like he must be waiting until the Sins are really powerful and so far he’s just been testing them, letting them run around and create chaos to become stronger, but now he’s going to finally put them to use.” 

“Okay,” Billy said, “So what do we do about it?”

Blue rolled his eyes, as if Billy were being particularly dense. “We stop him, duh.”

 

Billy spent his days with Freddy, playing video games and reading comics and snarking back at the Breyers whenever they stopped them in the hallway at school. Freddy seemed intent on ignoring Billy’s absence, jumping straight into friendship the way he had when Billy first arrived almost three years ago. It left a bad taste in Billy’s mouth, not because he didn’t want to be friends—he desperately did—but because he knew Freddy deserved better. 

At the very least, Billy wanted to somehow make up for how terrible he’d treated Freddy before, but other than finally returning Freddy’s Superman bullet, nothing Billy thought of felt like enough.

At night, Billy snuck out and met up with Blue. They worked side-by-side, settling on the roofs of skyscrapers to try and catch glimpses of Sivana working and following any sort of lead they could find about what the doctor might be planning.

Blue never brought up that day in the alley, and Billy was torn between being relieved and being irritated. If Blue wasn’t mentioning it then Billy was probably right about it not meaning anything to him, but the memory tugged at Billy, regardless. He wanted to ask, but he was scared of the answer; he’d learned that lesson from his mom—sometimes it was better not to know.

This went on for weeks, his split life, and for once Billy felt like he was in control. 

More than once he considered telling Freddy the truth, if only to have someone to talk to about his powers and Blue, and to see the shock and excitement on Freddy’s face, but he didn’t. Billy couldn’t risk losing Freddy, not after he’d just gotten him back, and if comics had taught him anything it was that your loved ones knowing your secret identity never worked out well for them.

“How long are we going to keep this up?” Billy asked one night, pressing his back against the wall to look sideways at Blue. Blue had been propped on his elbows on the wall, but at Billy’s words he uncurled and sank down beside him.

“As long as the good doctor does,” Blue said.

“Not the stake-out.” Billy tipped his slurpee sideways in offer, and Blue took it. “The secrets. I mean, am I ever going to find out who you are?”

Blue tilted his head, tapping the straw against his lips as he thought. “I don’t know. Have you earned that knowledge?”

Billy laughed, but again the memory of the alley, Blue’s heat and grip and Billy’s surety in the moment, came back to him. Blue must have been thinking the same thing because he met Billy’s eyes and sighed. “Yeah, alright. I’m not telling you my name, or where I live, or anything else super personal. But I’ll tell you something else, you pick.”

Billy thought for a moment, trying to think of a question that might reveal a lot. But one pressed at him more than others. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Blue said, and Billy felt immediate relief. It was bad enough he’d done something with a near-stranger, but the idea of that stranger being wildly older or younger than him made it even worse. That was one fear resolved, at least. “How old are you?”

“Oh, this goes both ways now?” Billy asked, then laughed when Blue shoved him. The slurpee was melting, the cup condensating between Blue’s fingers. “Same.”

“You’re not just saying that because I said it first, right?”

“I’m a senior.” He pointed at Blue’s grin as it appeared. “Not citizen.”

“That’s a relief,” Blue said. “School?”

“No.” Billy took back his slurpee and finished the rest of it.

“No school?”

“No, you don’t get to know that. Who gave you your powers?”

Blue pressed his fingers against his calf, as if massaging a sore spot. “A wizard.”

“Does this wizard have a name?” Billy asked, trying to see how far he could push Blue before the guy shut him out. It felt like they’d entered new territory and he wanted to explore for as long as possible.

“She does, but I can’t say it. I’m sure you understand that particular problem.”

Billy laughed, but he hadn’t missed that hint. _She_. So he’d been right; Shazam had a sibling somewhere, though the question remained as to why they’d chosen two Champions. 

Maybe the two of them were meant to work together, or maybe they were meant to fight for the title. It didn’t matter what the wizards’ intentions had been though, since they were no longer around to see them through. Besides, Billy was happy to share the title with Blue. If Blue asked, Billy would probably hand over the title entirely, though he didn’t think it would ever come to that. Blue seemed just as glad to have him as he was to have Blue.

“Did you get the whole only hope speech too?” Billy asked.

Blue snorted, and the sound pulled at something in Billy’s chest. It was definitely more than a crush. 

“Yeah, like Star Wars. I never thought I’d be able to do anything like this, you know? My real body is—it’s not anything special. But this?” Blue waved a hand to indicate his super body, “This is insane. In a good way, though. I mean, I’m almost as cool as Superman now. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. “Me either.”

The rest of the night slipped past them, and before Billy could catch up with it, the sky was growing lighter. Blue stood at the roof’s edge, the dark gold toes of his boots hanging over forty stories of air. He swayed as if about to jump, then turned and said, “We should exchange numbers, or—no, scratch that. Numbers can be traced. Emails? Snapchats?” 

“Emails? Do you want to exchange friendship bracelets too?” Billy asked, but his heart skipped stupidly at the thought. 

“I just mean in case there’s an emergency. And it’d save time. We won’t have to fly around hoping to meet up every night, we can just text.”

“Yeah, alright,” Billy said. 

So they did. Standing back to back against the sunrise, they made new, anonymous emails and saved each other to their contacts. Billy flew home feeling as if gravity was on his side for once.

 

“Red Cyclone _and_ Blue Marvel helped police break up a mob yesterday,” Freddy reported a few days later, from his spot hanging upside down off the bottom bunk. Billy sat on the floor against the bed, and when he looked over to read the headline Freddy was showing him, their shoulders brushed. 

“Told you they were friends.” 

Freddy used Billy’s shoulder as support, pulling himself fully onto the mattress before flipping onto his stomach. “That was just a lucky guess.”

“Yeah, it was,” Billy said. “What’s your obsession with them anyway? Aren’t you like, betraying Superman?”

Freddy snorted, nose scrunching with the sound. “That’s not how it works. I can like more than one superhero at a time, especially when I have a personal stake in some. Superman is like one hundred miles away. These guys are in our city, dude. I can’t _not_ be into that.”

“Yeah?” Billy said. 

After learning more about Blue, Billy couldn’t stop thinking about it. They were the same age, so there was a possibility they went to the same school. It was a very slim possibility—Billy had Googled it after, and there were something like 40 high schools in Philly, but still.

He’d considered, once again, telling Freddy about it. If anyone knew how to find a superhero’s real identity, it was Freddy. But he knew Freddy well enough to know that was a bad idea; if Freddy looked into Blue’s identity, he’d look into Red Cyclone's as well, and Billy couldn’t risk that.

“Freddy?” 

“Yeah?” Freddy looked up, and Billy followed the curve of his mouth as he smiled. He’d missed that mouth, even as annoying as it could be. 

“Have you ever liked someone before?” 

“Um, yeah, I mean I’m in love with Superman, but—” Freddy laughed, rolling sideways to avoid Billy’s smack. “Yeah, I’ve liked someone before. Why?” 

“What did you do about it?” Billy asked. He didn’t expect Freddy to have actual experience on the topic, at least none that Billy knew about, but Freddy had a knack for understanding people and knowing the right thing to do.

The sheets disrupted Freddy’s shrug. “Nothing.” 

“Why not?” 

Freddy laughed. “Seriously? Look at me, dude. I mean, _really_ look at me. Nobody in their right mind would like me back—I’m just the weird, obsessed, cripple kid—so what’s the point in trying?”

Billy shook his head. “You’re wrong. You don’t see it, but you’re more than just those things.” He thought about what Blue said the last time he saw him, and tried to think of something that summed up everything he wanted to say. Sure, Freddy could be weird and he was obsessed with superheroes, but everyone had quirks. It was better than being a dick and a total idiot, like Billy. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do,” Billy said.

“Same,” Freddy said. Billy tipped his head back to look at him. “You’re too hard on yourself. And you’re trying to make up for things that don’t even matter now. I probably should have told you this weeks ago, but I’m glad you came back.”

“Me too.” 

Freddy maneuvered himself, very ungracefully, onto the floor beside Billy. Their sides pressed together, shoulder to knee, and Billy was thankful for the distraction because Freddy asked, “What happened with your mom?”

Billy looked away, his eyes skipping from the window to the dresser and back. He fixed his gaze there, looking past Freddy but not at him. 

“You can tell me to back off,” Freddy said. “I know that’s probably a touchy subject.”

“She didn’t want me.”

“She said that?”

Billy shook his head. “She didn’t have to.” He bent forward and rubbed at his eyes, speaking through the gap in his hands. “I just feel so stupid, you know? All the signs were there and everyone kept telling me, but I just didn’t want to see it.”

“That really sucks,” Freddy said. Billy laughed, a startled, disbelieving sound that ticked up the corners of Freddy’s mouth. “Did anyone ever tell you how I broke my leg?”

Billy shook his head. He thought, just by the turn of this conversation, that he had an idea, but settling on it made him uncomfortable; it was easier, sometimes, to pretend things had always been one way, instead of considering how they became like that.

“My step dad attacked me,” Freddy said, and then in typical Freddy fashion, he kept talking well beyond the limit of what other people would share. “I don’t know where my real dad is—he pissed off somewhere, just like yours. But I guess I look like him, so my mom and I used to get in fights a lot. She always said I had his mouth, too.

“Well one day we’re arguing, right, and I don’t even remember what it was about, something stupid probably. And my stepdad comes home. He would usually side with my mom and I would back down, you know, because—” Freddy waved a hand over himself.

“Yeah,” Billy said.

“But he didn’t that day. He went upstairs and came back down with a baseball bat. Broke two of my ribs, my wrist, and shattered my femur.” Freddy tapped his knuckles against his thigh, as if testing the soundness. “Those healed, this didn’t.”

“Tell me he went to jail?” Billy said, the image of that scene flashing unwelcome in his mind. He didn’t like violence—the fight was never what drew him in or kept him coming back as Red—but he understood it. If he could, he wouldn’t hesitate to get even for Freddy.

Freddy nodded. “The neighbors called the cops when they heard me screaming. My mom just stood there.” 

He met Billy’s eyes and laughed, the same small sound Billy had made earlier. “I guess what I’m saying is, families aren’t always what you want them to be. Or what they should be. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out how you want it to, and that’s just how it is.”

Billy didn’t understand it, the way Freddy could always stay so upbeat despite everything he’d been through. It couldn’t be easy, and Billy didn’t give him enough credit. He’d taken the easier route, blaming everyone and then himself, pushing second chances and better things away in favor of the same tired problems and false hopes as always. But he wasn't going to do that anymore. It wasn’t helping anyone, least of all himself, and the people he loved deserved better. 

“Did you practice that?” Billy asked, just to see Freddy’s lips curl up again.

Freddy rolled his eyes. “For days. How was my delivery?”

“Could use some work, but I got the point.” 

Freddy tried to look offended, but his smile broke through after a moment.

 

When Freddy left the room, Billy checked his phone. 

It became addictive, logging into his second email and reloading the inbox just to see if Blue had sent him something. Usually he hadn’t, but every few hours—especially during the hours they were both at school—a new message appeared and Billy’s heart leapt against his ribs as he read through it. 

They talked about school and home without revealing too much, bonded over their powers and agreed to meet-up times and locations. It felt like a friendship, which seemed unbelievable on its own; before Freddy, who had all but sprung friendship on him without Billy even needing to try, he’d never had friends. Billy hadn’t bothered starting conversations at any of his past foster homes and it had been easier in the two years he lived with his mom to just keep his head down and not draw attention, at home or school. 

Now Billy had to type out responses to his superhero buddy without sounding stupid or desperate or putting anything that might say too much about him, all in the sparse few minutes throughout the day that he wasn’t with Freddy. Usually this meant hunching over his phone as the shower ran, hoping to finish his message before the hot water ran out. Or hiding his phone beneath his desk in class, eyes flicking back and forth between the screen and the whiteboard.

“Who’re you talking to?” Freddy asked, when he came back from his shower and caught Billy before he could press send and lock his phone. 

_Art Museum steps at 11?_ Blue had sent. 

“No one,” Billy said.

“Is no one the name of your secret crush?” Freddy pulled a clean t-shirt from the dresser and sat down at his desk before slipping it on, his crutch balanced against his knee. 

Billy traced the blue and gold logo on Freddy’s chest and rolled his lip between the sharp points of his teeth. He trusted Freddy, and he knew he could trust him with this—all of it; his secret, his powers, and his crush. But something held him back. Whatever he had with Blue felt like something separate from the superhero thing, and Billy didn’t want to share it. 

“I’m just teasing you, man,” Freddy said, lifting an eyebrow after he’d gotten Billy’s attention again. “I already know who your secret crush is.”

Billy frowned. “You do?”

“Yeah. I know you like Red Cyclone. It’s obvious since you’re so up his ass.” Freddy tried to look serious, but his expression crumpled as he snorted. 

Billy choked on his own laugh, sitting up to grab at Freddy. He tried to kick out of reach, but Billy caught the chair and pulled him down, digging his fingers into Freddy’s side as they rolled on the hardwood. 

“Okay, okay!” Freddy yelled. “That was bad.”

“That was so bad. You should feel horrible,” Billy said. 

Freddy grinned at him, all teeth, and Billy wondered how long he could keep this up.


	3. Chapter 3

Billy felt the air shift as Blue landed beside him. 

“Where’s your head at, Red?” 

Billy pointed up, toward the heavy bank of clouds that hid the moon. “You find anything?”

They’d split up a few hours ago to cover more ground, scouring the city to find where Sivana might be hiding. He’d been lying low since the attack at his father’s company a month ago, but not only were Billy and Blue looking for him, the police were too. A signed card had been delivered to Sivana Sr.’s funeral with the message _rest in pieces_ , but otherwise there had been no sign of the doctor.

Blue shook his head. “Other than a bunch of drunks on 21st? No. But I walked a girl home, and it gave me an idea.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy didn’t let himself linger on that—Blue could do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted, it’s not like Billy had any right to be jealous.

“Yeah,” Blue said, his tone rising on the word; a question, but not. Billy got the distinct impression he was being teased, but then Blue turned serious again. “Since I walked that girl home, I know where she lives, right?”

“Kind of creepy,” Billy said.

“Yeah, well. What if we applied that to Sivana?”

“You want to walk Sivana home? I don’t think he’d be too on board with that idea. Especially considering his house is under police surveillance.”

“Would you listen?” Blue smacked Billy’s chest and his hand bounced harmlessly off. “I’m saying, Sivana might be in hiding, but the Sins aren’t. We’ve seen them around still. So what if we find one, and follow it?”

“We follow the Sin, we find Sivana,” Billy said, and Blue nodded. 

It seemed like such an obvious solution that Billy was amazed neither of them had thought of it before, though he supposed thats what happened when you tasked two teenagers with fighting evil and protecting the world.

“Sound good?” Blue asked.

“Sounds good.”

 

It took them three tries and three different Sins before their plan worked. 

First, Pride wasted an entire night talking about itself and adamantly refusing to lead them to Sivana on the basis that “he isn’t important.” 

“This one’s not going to work out,” Blue finally said, after several rounds of convincing turned threats turned begging, as he pulled Billy away from the dark glass where the demon was eyeing itself.

“Why not?” Pride asked, ugly form shifting, “I _always_ work out.”

The next night, they found Gluttony tearing through a Catholic food pantry just after 2 ᴀᴍ. Dented cans and boxes slammed down around it, their contents spilling onto the tile, as the demon ripped them from the carefully organized shelves. It tore open a loaf of bread, the plastic crinkling against its claws, and shoved the entire thing down its throat.

“Are you stealing from poor people?” Blue asked, standing shoulder-to-shoulder beside Billy in the doorway to block Gluttony’s exit. “Shouldn’t that be Greed’s thing?”

“Yeah, but he’s stealing food. So it counts,” Billy pointed out.

The demon howled and threw a can of soup at his head. Billy ducked in time and the can sailed past him outside, landing on the sidewalk before rolling off the curb.

“Okay,” Blue said. “Not much of a talker.” He stepped forward, fists raised, but Billy pulled him back. 

“Hold on, let’s just—” He turned toward Gluttony and asked, “Hey ugly, are you going to take us to your leader or not?”

Beside him, Blue covered a snort with his hand. “Your leader, like—”

Billy pushed him, rolling his eyes. Gluttony looked between them, tilted its head, then sank to the ground and continued eating. 

Billy sighed and shot the demon with lightning, then followed Blue back outside.

“We could always try Lust, again,” Blue suggested.

“Is that a come on?” Billy asked, feeling stupid and brave for some reason.

Blue pointed a finger at him, but his teeth were on full display. Billy didn’t know what to think of the moment, so he didn’t. 

“I don’t think Lust would be any better. Why don’t we just zap them and see where they return to?”

Blue shook his head, crossing his arms. “I already thought of that. Do you know how hard smoke is to follow? Especially at night.” 

Billy wanted to say they could try tomorrow since it was the weekend, spend all day looking, but he wouldn’t be able to explain where he was going to Freddy, and he definitely couldn’t lie. “Okay, so… plan B?”

“Wait,” Blue said, holding up a finger even though Billy wasn’t talking. “Look.”

Across the street, another demon slouched against the wall. They watched it in silence, waiting, until it slowly uncurled, long limbs dragging, and started down the sidewalk. 

“Sloth?” Billy asked. He hadn’t seen much of this particular Sin, though he supposed that made sense. You didn’t get a reputation for being sinfully lazy if you did things.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Blue said. “Shall we?” 

They followed Sloth for hours, winding at a snail’s pace through the city, making sure to remain a block or so behind just in case the Sin thought about suddenly escaping. It didn’t, but it knew they were there because every so often it would pause and make a long, deliberate show of turning around to stare at them. It didn’t attack, though.

“Why doesn’t it just dissolve and fly away?” Blue asked, after they’d circled past the same corner store for the third time. Sloth loped through a green light at the next street, nearly meeting the front bumper of a bus.

“Shh,” Billy said. “Don’t give it any ideas.”

Blue laughed, then yawned into his fist. He shot a look sideways to Billy and said, “I’m not tired. Just reflex.”

It was nearing morning, though the sun had yet to make an appearance, but Billy could tell by the way the traffic picked up, the sidewalks slowly filling as shops and workplaces opened for the day. Something needed to happen soon, or else he might be forced to call it a night. Billy couldn’t risk not being there when Freddy woke up, he didn't know how to explain where he’d been.

Blue seemed to be thinking the same thing because he said, “We need to wrap this up.”

Luckily, Sloth felt like complying. It turned at the next street and headed away from Center City, east toward the river. It picked up its pace as it walked, and Billy pushed away the anxious feeling in his stomach, matching his steps to Blue’s.

The warehouse it led them to sat at the end of a long street of old, newly renovated houses. Like the houses, the warehouse looked as if it had recently been converted and a For Sale sign poked out of the weeds at the sidewalk. Sloth stopped in the driveway and turned to smoke, floating like the clouds from Billy's mom’s cigarettes into an open second story window.

Billy looked sideways to Blue, who was frowning as his eyes moved over the brick. Lights were on upstairs, shining out of the window Sloth had gone through, but they didn’t reach Billy and Blue where they stood across the street. “This feels like a bad idea.”

“I know,” Blue said. “But we’re on a tight schedule, probably. I don’t actually know. For now let’s just scope it out and see what we can find. How should we split it? Left and right? Top and bottom? You do all the rooms with lamps in them and I’ll do the rooms with portraits of old white men. If a room has both, we arm wrestle for it.” 

“I don’t care,” Billy said, ruining Blue’s attempts at lightening the mood.

“Alright, I’ll top.” Blue tipped his chin, the corners of his lips pulling up, and Billy shook his head. “Ready?”

“No,” Billy said, but he wasn’t going to back out, either. They’d faced the Sins and Sivana before, sometimes altogether, though that had never gone well in the past. Billy had also never cared one way or the other before, but now he had stakes in this. He wanted to defeat Sivana because it was the right thing to do, but he didn’t want him or Blue to get hurt in the process. 

_They’re superheroes_ , Freddy told him once, when Billy asked why they bothered in the first place, _it’s what they do. If they don’t, who else will?_

“Okay,” Blue said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Billy started forward, but Blue caught his arm. When Billy turned to ask what was wrong, Blue didn’t give him a chance to get the words out. He pressed their lips together, lightning fast, and then pulled back. “Good luck.”

 

Inside, the warehouse looked like a regular house. There were more rooms than normal and the living room took up a huge portion of the bottom floor, flowing into the open kitchen and the empty space where Billy assumed a dining table was meant to go. The ceiling stretched all the way to the roof there, past the second story balcony.

Billy walked the entire length of the bottom floor, peeking into rooms and looking anywhere he thought Sivana might hide something incriminating—the cabinets in the kitchen and bathrooms and the drawers in every piece of furniture. He even rolled up the edges of the rugs to see if something was tucked beneath them, because that’s where he hid Freddy’s comics sometimes, just to annoy him. But there was nothing.

Billy thought of Blue upstairs and wondered if he was having better luck. He thought that, if the bottom floor was vacant, that meant the Sins and Sivana, if the doctor was here, had to be upstairs. His fear returned in full force.

Billy was halfway up the stairs when a thud sounded and someone cried out. He flew the rest of the way, racing in the direction of the sound.

The light was on, but when Billy stepped into the room he didn’t see what he was looking for. The room was empty. As he turned for the door, something jumped on him and he went down, head hitting the hardwood painfully.

Billy struggled, trying to throw whatever was pinning him off, but it didn’t budge. Then more weight joined it, and he was flipped and pulled to his knees. The demons’ claws dug into his arms, his back, and Sivana’s smile was thin as he watched.

“I thought you’d be harder to trick. I suppose I might have misjudged you.”

“Where is he?” Billy asked, knowing he was showing all of cards and not caring. He needed to know if Blue was okay, the rest he could worry about after.

Sivana shook his head, as if scolding a small child. “I’m sure he’ll join us in a moment. Patience is an underappreciated virtue.”

Billy tried to break free, but the Sins’ grip on him was stronger. Their claws bit against his flesh, tearing through muscle, and he wanted to cry out, but he didn’t want to give Blue a reason to look for him. 

They’d been so fucking stupid.

When Blue found them, Billy knew it was over.

Blue stopped in the doorway, frozen in shock the way the statues of the Sins used to be. His eyes tracked the scene in front of him before landing on Billy, pinned on his knees. 

Billy shook his head, but Blue turned to face Sivana. “Let him go.”

Sivana hummed, then tipped his chin. “I’m open to negotiations. You want your precious superhero to live? That’s fine. I can give you that. But first, you have to give me something.”

“Blue, don’t,” Billy managed, before his mouth was roughly covered.

Blue hesitated, shifting his weight to his left foot and back. “What do you want?”

“Your powers,” Sivana said. Billy’s cry was muffled by the demon’s hand, and Blue didn’t look at him. Sivana gestured behind him, and Sloth stepped forward to present him with a tall, familiar staff. 

“Where did you get that?” Blue demanded.

Sivana took the staff and held it up, as if testing the balance against his wrist. “That wasn’t part of the deal. We are not trading information, here. We are trading powers… and lives.”

Slowly, Blue nodded, and Billy screamed. It did nothing, only landed flatly against the demon’s scaly palm. 

Sivana set the staff between them. Blue hesitated, fingers ticking at his side.

“I wouldn’t try it,” Sivana said. He must have known Blue’s thought, the same one that Billy had; Blue could kill Sivana, dispatch him with lightning as quickly as using a bullet, but then what would the Sins do? 

It wouldn't kill them, surely. Sivana controlled the Sins, but neither Billy nor Blue knew how far that bond went. If they killed Sivana, the Sins might be set loose. They might kill them both.

Blue set his hand on the staff. 

Billy screamed, fighting with everything he had to break free. The Sins’ grip held, though, and he could only watch. 

Blue didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry, Billy.”

He gripped the staff, set his jaw, and nodded to Sivana. The doctor smiled, as thin and sharp as a knife’s edge.

“Shazam.”

Lightning struck. Blue’s chest or Sivana’s, Billy wasn’t sure. He was too stunned, too focused on the moment after. On Blue, as he collapsed, dust and smoke burning Billy’s eyes, and Freddy, as he knelt where Blue had been.

“Thank you, children,” Sivana said. 

He snapped his fingers and the grip on Billy released. He was gone before Billy could pick himself up, taking the staff and the Sins with him, and leaving Billy alone to face his best friend.

 

“Put me down.” 

Billy kept flying, shoulders hunched against the early morning cold. Freddy hit him, and when Billy didn’t stop, hit him again, harder. “Goddamnit, Billy, put me down!”

Billy slowed and stumbled, boots landing with a dull thud. He set Freddy down and Freddy collapsed, sinking to the curb and putting his head in his hands. His shoulders shook, and Billy followed the line of his spine beneath his Wonder Woman t-shirt, fists clenching uselessly at his sides.

Billy called on the lightning in a whisper, and sat down beside Freddy as himself.

“How long did you know?” he asked. His throat felt as tight as his chest and he blinked, focusing on the yard across the street from them—small, sad shrubs and blow-up Christmas decorations, the sound of their motors whirring but their light too faint to see now that the sun was up. His memories of Blue replayed in his mind, fighting, joking, fucking around, and the entire time not knowing.

Freddy shook his head, so Billy repeated it, louder, harsher. “How long did you know it was me?”

“A while,” Freddy said. 

“How long?”

“I don’t know. A few months.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Freddy shook his head. He laughed, small and sharp. “Is that a real question? Why the fuck would I? It’s not like we were talking at the time, and I wasn’t going to just jump you at school and out you, or out me. I had no idea how you would take it.”

“What about later? After I moved back in, you could have told me.” Billy swallowed and pressed his knuckles against his mouth, forcing his throat to work. “You should have told me.”

Freddy sighed into his hands, curls slipping out from between his fingers. He spoke to the asphalt and didn’t look at Billy. “I knew you’d be disappointed.”

“What?”

“I knew you wouldn’t want it to be me, so I lied. Or, I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell you the truth. Which I guess is still lying.”

Billy shook his head, but he couldn’t find the words he needed to make an argument. He wanted to, he thought he wanted to, but his throat felt dry and his hands were shaking. He wanted to shake Freddy, the way his shoulders threatened to. He wanted to scream and yell and dissolve into anger until his anger ran out, until all of the thoughts battling in his mind settled. He wanted to pull Freddy against him, focus on the fact that they were alive, but he didn’t.

“How did you know? Was I that obvious?” 

Billy almost hoped so, because then he could forgive himself for not seeing the truth. He should have known Freddy was Blue—all of the signs had been right there, if only he’d looked. The way Blue was able to read him immediately, right from the start; Blue’s smile, all teeth, so much like Freddy’s that Billy had known without realizing; the phantom limp in Blue’s step; his jokes and intelligence and principles. It had been staring Billy in the face for two entire years, and he still hadn’t seen it.

Maybe he hadn’t wanted to.

Freddy was shaking his head between his hands. “It was the way you talked. I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to find out, so I followed you back to your mom’s and then I waited for you to leave as Red and you did. That’s how I knew.”

Billy opened his mouth, but shut it again. There was nothing left to say. He sat there, confused and exhausted and right on the edge of breaking down, until Freddy finally lifted his head and said, “We should go home.”

Billy didn’t argue. He gripped Freddy’s side and got them to the subway, ignoring Freddy’s tight ribs and breathing, his nails biting into Billy’s side the way the Sins’ claws had earlier. He got them home, and then he let go. 

Freddy sat down hard on the bottom bunk, his hands fists on his knees and his crutch propped against the wall. Billy didn’t want to talk anymore, but he had so many questions. “You leave your crutch?”

Freddy shrugged and answered without looking at him. “Sometimes. Sometimes I take it and stash it somewhere. It depended on what you did.”

Billy sat down in the desk chair. It didn’t seem real; he and Freddy had been sneaking out of the same house, the same room, for weeks just to meet up with each other, and Freddy had managed to keep it a secret, never once making Billy think anything of it. The kicker was that Freddy hadn’t even been quiet about it. 

Billy didn’t want to think about that right now, but he couldn’t ignore what just happened.

“Sivana has your powers now, but we still don’t know what he’s planning. We walked into a trap.”

“No shit,” Freddy said. “You think?”

“What do we do now?”

“ _We_ don’t do anything.” Freddy finally met his eyes, and Billy wished he hadn’t. “Don’t you get it, Billy? I’m out. It’s over. This is on you now.”

“I don’t want it to be. I never asked you to give up your powers for me,” Billy argued.

Freddy scoffed, and there was nothing attractive about the sound. “It’s a little late for that. I can’t help you anymore.”


	4. Chapter 4

Mary came home that night, after finishing all of her exams for the fall semester, with a quiet arrival during dinner. The family jumped up from the table to hug her, their laughter and questions covering the awkward silence left behind between Billy and Freddy, who sat facing one another without lifting their eyes from their plates.

After, Mary pulled Billy to a gentle stop in the hallway and tucked him against her. The hug was loose, leaving enough room for escape if he chose to take it, but he didn’t. Billy leaned against her, into the smell of her sweater like cinnamon and deodorant, and let Mary kiss his forehead. “I have to lean up now to do that,” she laughed. “I didn’t think that’d happen.”

“You didn’t think I’d reach six feet?”

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Mary corrected. 

Billy laughed, but the sound was weak. He’d missed Mary, though the sting of that had been lessened in a way, more so than his time away from Freddy and the others, by her time at college. Billy hadn’t seen her in over two years. He hadn’t even told her goodbye; she wasn't home the day he left, and the idea of texting her afterward had felt like rubbing salt in the wound.

They’d both changed since then, but Mary still had those soft brown eyes and when she pulled back to look at Billy, he knew she still saw right through him.

They ended up on the couch, their socked feet pressed together beneath a blanket. Mary put on The Polar Express and Billy didn’t even argue, thankful for the distraction and excuse to stay downstairs. He wasn’t exactly avoiding Freddy, but he wasn’t ready to face him either. When the credits rolled, Mary looked sideways at him and asked, “Want to watch another?”

Billy nodded. “You pick.” 

Mary chose The Princess Bride from the directory and resettled the blanket over them. 

Billy checked his phone, half out of reflex and half in desperation, but his inbox was empty. When he’d woken up before dinner, there was a furious moment where everything came back to him, tears joining the spotty afternoon darkness to blur his vision, and he’d almost deleted his emails to Blue. Then the moment had passed, and Billy locked his phone again. As angry and confused as he was, he didn’t want to erase whatever he and Blue had, even if it was a lie, even if it was just in Billy’s head. 

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Mary nodded without looking at him. Somehow, that was better than if she had.

“You know Red Cyclone?” 

“The superhero?”

“Yeah. It’s me. I’m him.” Billy expected Mary to laugh, or question him, or call him stupid, but she didn’t. Mary just looked sideways to meet his eyes and waited, her cheek pressed to the worn sofa back. 

“A wizard gave me powers, which I know sounds crazy. That probably isn’t helping my case, but it’s true. He brought me to his lair and gave me this whole speech about being the chosen one—the Champion—and how I’m supposed to protect humanity from the Seven Deadly Sins, which are these ugly gargoyle looking things. And that’s fine, right? That’s whatever. I thought I would just have to deal with that, you know? But then this new guy shows up, same deal with the wizard and the powers and—”

“It’s Freddy?” Mary whispered, dropping her voice to match Billy’s. “This other guy?”

“Yeah.” Billy didn’t know if Freddy had already told her, or if Mary had figured it out on her own, but already the weight on his chest felt smaller just from sharing the secret.

“How’d you find out?” Mary asked.

“He gave up his powers for me.”

“That’s why the two of you aren’t talking,” Mary guessed and Billy nodded.

Mary didn’t say anything for a long moment, then she tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. “Yeah that’s… that’s a lot. I mean, I believe you. I still want proof, but I believe you. I just don’t know how to help. This is kind of way above my advice level. Have you tried _not_ talking to him?”

Billy frowned. “What do you think we’re doing right now?”

“No, I mean, just skip the conversation. There’s too much to try to cover right now, and both of you probably need space to work through what happened and how you feel about it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do something else. Have you tried—I don’t know—just hugging him? Something that doesn’t require talking. It’d probably help.”

“What if it doesn’t? What if it just makes everything worse?”

Freddy’s silence was almost worse than his words might have been, and Billy didn’t want to imagine the future if Freddy weren’t there to fill it in with plans and schemes and words. Billy had told himself when he’d come back to this house that he wasn’t going to mess this up a second time, that he was going to earn his place here, but in the end he’d pushed away what was right in front of him for something else unattainable and he didn’t know if Freddy would give him a third chance. He didn’t know if he deserved one.

Mary shrugged, and Billy didn’t like his odds if even she was at a loss here. “At least you’re trying.”

 

Freddy didn’t respond when Billy said his name. He didn’t move, either, so Billy told himself that Freddy wasn’t ignoring him, he was just asleep.

Billy stood unsure in the darkness for a few more seconds, then went out into the hallway and sat down against the wall. The rest of the house was asleep and it was well past the time he would normally sneak out to patrol, but without Blue it seemed pointless. Blue was the reason Billy took on the responsibility of the Champion in the first place, even if it had originally been in some stupid desire to outshine him. Blue was what kept calling Billy back each night, giving him a reason to return to the fight when Billy's head told him to walk away and not concern himself with it.

Without Blue, Billy wouldn’t be here.

It only made sense that it would be Freddy; the boy who kept trying with Billy when everyone else had given up; the boy who smiled with his entire face and loved with his entire being and pulled Billy in the right direction every time he stumbled, without fail, without complaint. The boy who was obsessed with superheroes and gave up his chance to be one to save Billy. Billy owed it to him to keep going—it’s what Freddy would do.

So Billy got to his feet and snuck outside. He called on the lightning and flew east, back to the warehouse, searching every inch to find something that might reveal Sivan’s plan or next step. Aside from a few gouge marks left in the wall and a scuff in the spot the staff had stood last night, there was nothing to indicate Sivana had ever been there. 

Billy flew downtown and spent hours patrolling; he stopped a mugging before it could go further, walked a group of women home from a bar, and helped some teenagers push a car out of a snowbank where it had gotten stuck. 

Just before sunrise, Billy let himself stop. He caught his breath on the roof of an office building and stared at his silent inbox. Then, without knowing what he was going to say, he typed a message:

 

Blue. Freddy,

You told me once that it’s not the powers that make you super, it’s what you do with them. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that you’ve always been where I looked when I needed someone. You’re the best person I know, the superpowers were just a bonus. 

I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to figure this out. I won’t ask you to help me, but if you have any ideas I’d love to hear them. If I could trade places with you or undo this somehow, I would. You deserve this life. I’m sorry it was me that got it. I’ll try to make up for that.

— Billy/Red

PS: I’m not disappointed it's you.

 

He pressed send.

 

The first thing Billy did when he woke up was roll over and check his phone. His heart threatened to break his ribs as he refreshed his inbox, tripping painfully when he saw it—one new message.

31 minutes ago, Freddy had replied. It said:

 

Don’t get too excited, but I might have some ideas. You don’t have to lie, though. I know who your real secret crush is.

 

The door opened, Billy sat up, and their eyes met.

“It’s you,” Billy said.

Freddy froze, like an animal hoping to turn invisible, then arched a dark eyebrow and pointed at himself in question. Billy nodded. “My secret crush. It’s you.”

Freddy looked ready to argue, but Billy didn’t let him. He dropped down from the top bunk, losing his phone to the hardwood in the process, and gripped Freddy’s shoulders. “I’m serious. Listen: all the things I liked about Blue were _your_ things. Your jokes and your laugh and your stupid moral compass. It was you the whole time, I was just too much of a dumbass to realize.” 

Freddy laughed, a little shaky. “I can’t argue with you there. You are a dumbass.”

Billy smiled, relief and affection spreading behind his ribs like the heat spreading across Freddy's cheeks. 

“Tell me how to fix this.”

“You can’t,” Freddy said. He gripped Billy’s elbow, brown eyes glossing as tears emerged. “I mean it, Billy. You can’t. There’s nothing you can do.”

“There has to be something. Some way to reverse it, or—” Billy waved a hand, hoping to pull some magic solution out of thin air, but Freddy shook his head. “You said you had ideas.”

“About how to defeat Sivana, not about me. I don’t know how to fix this, or if it's even possible, and right now it doesn’t really matter. We have more important things to deal with.”

_We_.

Billy wanted to argue, say that nothing was more important than Freddy and his happiness, but he knew Freddy was right. Sivana was stronger than ever now, and they needed to find a way to stop him before it was too late.

They went downstairs for breakfast, then roped Mary into a brainstorming session, laying down everything they knew about Sivana, the Sins, and the Champion’s powers before trying to fit the pieces into something they could work with. 

“So you have to use the magic word to transform right? The name of the wizard?”

Freddy shook his head, the sun bleaching his scalp through the gap in the tree branches. They’d gone outside to talk to avoid being overheard, but snow was falling in soft sheets and piling on the driveway around them. “Shazam isn’t the wizard’s name, it's just the name we use to call on the powers, like a… codeword?”

Billy frowned. “How do you know that?” 

“The wizard told me. Did your wizard not explain how the powers worked?” 

“No, he kind of just forced them on me and then immediately turned to dust. There wasn’t a lot of time for a lesson.”

Mary snapped her fingers, pulling their attention back to the point. “Okay, so you have to use the codeword. This Sivana guy, he knows the word right?”

Freddy nodded, and there was a bitterness in his voice when he spoke. “He knew it when he took my powers. We definitely didn’t tell him, so he must have been spying on us with the Sins. He had the staff, too, from the Rock of Eternity.”

“Is there any way to reverse it?” Mary asked. “Like, take the powers away instead of giving them? Billy, what if you got Sivana to hold the staff and you said the word. Would his powers transfer to you?”

Billy shrugged, melting a flake of ice beneath his thumb. “Would that work, though? I already have the powers,” he met Freddy’s eyes, “But if you did it—”

“He would kill me,” Freddy said. “There’s no way in hell I could get close enough and pull that off, not like this.” He tapped his crutch against the ground to emphasize his point. “Sivana might have let me go once, but I don’t think he’ll be that nice the second time around.”

Billy frowned at him and Freddy scowled back, until it felt like they’d both made their point. In agreement, they looked at Mary and watched her lips pull down from the attention. “What?”

“You could do it,” Freddy said. 

“If you wanted to,” Billy added. He knew what it was like to have the powers forced upon you, and he would never ask Mary to take on that burden just because he was failing at the job. 

Mary pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her legging-clad knees. “I don’t know… I mean, I have school to think about and we don’t even know if this plan will work. It’s all just speculation.”

“Okay,” Billy said, turning to Freddy again, “Plan B?”

Freddy shrugged, disrupting his curls with his hand before holding it up. “You fight Sivana? Kill him, preferably, but you didn’t hear me say that. We’ll have to get the Sins to come out of his eye, somehow. Cause a distraction of some sort and while he’s vulnerable, or as vulnerable as he can be now that he has my powers, you take him down. The Sins used to be kept at the Rock of Eternity, right? I figure once Sivana is down, you rip out his eye and we can lock the Sins back up.”

“That’s disgusting,” Billy said.

“Hey, no one ever said being a superhero was a field of kittens.”

Mary frowned. “No one ever said that because that’s not how the saying goes. I can’t believe the wizards chose you two, of all people.”

 

The Rock of Eternity looked the same as the last time Billy had been there, looking for information on Blue. The realm—as Freddy explained it: “My wizard said it exists outside of space and time, in some type of protected pocket at the center of the universe, and only people who know how to find it can get there”—was still dark and vaguely shapeless at the edges, less like smoke and more like the idea of it. 

“ _Your_ wizard? We’re claiming them now? And what do you mean the center of the universe, how is that even possible?” Billy asked, looking across the throne room at Freddy as they searched. He’d teleported them there after Mary suggested it, hoping to find anything that might help them defeat Sivana. A second staff would be nice, but Billy wasn’t counting on it.

Freddy shrugged, tracing the platforms where the Sins’ used to be trapped. “I don’t know, man. It’s magic. That’s not my area of expertise. I’m just telling you what _my_ wizard said.”

Billy rolled his eyes. He hesitated, unsure how far Freddy was willing to let this conversation go. Since that morning, they hadn’t brought up Freddy losing his powers again and Billy didn’t want to give Freddy any more reasons to not talk to him, but he wanted to know. “Did your wizard mention why they chose two Champions?”

Freddy headed back toward the entrance, coming to a stop where several hallways split off into darkness. “I was supposed to defeat you. Or babysit you—I’m not sure, the phrasing was kind of weird. I guess a long time ago the council chose a Champion and it didn’t work out, the guy turned evil and most of the council was destroyed. Only our wizards were left after, and they spent centuries arguing over how to choose the next Champion. Your wizard chose you and my wizard thought that was the stupidest decision anyone’s ever made.”

“Thanks,” Billy said.

Freddy smiled. “I’m just repeating what she said. She didn’t think you were cut out for the part, so I guess she chose me as a backup plan. She said you could easily go down the wrong path or be influenced, but I was pure of heart or some nonsense. I was supposed to make sure you didn’t fuck things up, and the rest was up to me.”

“That’s why you helped me before you knew it was me,” Billy said.

“If I knew it was you from the start I would have called you out on your shit way sooner.” Freddy shifted his weight and returned his attention to the hallways in front of them. “Can’t change that now, though. Pick a number, Batson.”

“Three,” Billy said, so they followed the third hallway, which ended in a circular room. The walls were towering, the ceiling invisible from the ground, and when Billy flew to the top his breath caught at the sight. Where a ceiling should be, there was only void and stars.

“What’d you see?” Freddy asked when he landed.

“Space,” Billy said, then switched back to his real body. He was trying, probably too hard, to not rub his superpowers in Freddy’s face. 

“What do you mean space? Like outer space?”

Billy nodded. “Yeah, it was kind of hazy, but that was the general impression.”

Doors lined both sides of the second hallway, but all of them opened onto nothing, only solid stone or equally solid black mist, as if whatever might have been behind them was now inaccessible. The first hallway ended in another circular room where he and Freddy found even more doors. When they opened them, instead of finding space or void, they were met with things so much more terrifying.

“Holy shit!” Billy said, slamming a door shut on angry crocodiles just before they grabbed him. Freddy snickered behind him, the skin around his eyes crinkling from his laugh. 

“You think that’s funny, Freeman?”

“Yeah, actually. You screaming like a little girl is hilarious. Open another door, I wanna hear it again.”

Billy shook his head, but he laughed despite his pounding heart. It felt good, joking around with Freddy again, as if the past few days hadn’t happened. He knew it wasn’t that easy, they couldn’t just ignore the things they’d left untouched between them—Freddy’s lies and Billy’s selfishness and their kiss, which waited like a landmine for them to step over. They would have to talk about all of it, but first Billy had a supervillain to defeat. Though he thought they deserved to relax for a minute, here.

“Well this was a bust. Can’t wait to tell Mary she was wrong for once,” Freddy said.

“I wouldn’t,” Billy warned. “We still need her help.”

 

They spent the rest of the week shoulder-to-shoulder on their bedroom floor, pouring through every book Freddy had on supervillains and everything they could find at the library that even remotely connected to their problem. _Talking Psychopaths_ , a hardcover thicker than Billy’s palm about Egyptian magic (the one where he’d read about chaos demons), and, as a last ditch effort and joke on Freddy’s part, Rick Riordan’s _The Kane Chronicles._

“Are you serious?” 

“They used a lot of magic in this, maybe we’ll get lucky.” 

They didn’t, but that wasn’t a surprise. 

Each night, Billy went on patrol alone, challenging himself to do more and more to make up for not getting anywhere with Sivana; if he helped five people one night, he tried to help six the next. It felt like the early months after Freddy had shown up as Blue, before the two of them settled into a distant partnership, where Billy had yet to embrace the concept of being a superhero and only went out each night because he felt guilty not going. He had better reasons to do it now, but the role still felt wrong without Freddy beside him.

When he slipped back inside Thursday night, he found Freddy sitting up on the bottom bunk, waiting for him. “Fun night?”

Billy pulled off his jeans and left them with his jacket in a pile on the floor. “Would have been better with you.” The mattress dipped as he sat down and he could feel Freddy’s warmth against his side. He wanted to lean into it, but he didn’t know if that was okay.

Freddy must have read his mind because he fell sideways against Billy and groaned into his shoulder. “Why can’t we just be happy? Why is our luck so shitty?”

Billy laughed, small and tired. He wrapped his arms around Freddy’s shoulders and pressed his nose to Freddy’s hair, breathing in the scent of him: the faint fruity smell of his shampoo, something else crisp like the air after snow, and, beneath that, sweat.

“Did you mean it?” Freddy asked. “You weren’t just trying to get back on my good side and make me feel better?”

It took Billy a moment to catch up, maybe because it was so late and he’d been out all night, maybe because he hadn’t expected Freddy to ask so casually, but he should have known. Freddy never placed importance on anything concerning himself, because in his mind he wasn’t worth it. 

“Why did you kiss me that night?” Billy asked instead of answering.

Freddy sighed, rubbing at his eyes and curling with his back to the wall. Billy followed without asking, laying down to face him. “I just had this feeling that things were going to go wrong. In hindsight, I probably should have listened to it, but—” Freddy shrugged. “I kind of figured you had feelings for Blue, but I didn’t think that transferred to me, especially since you didn’t know it _was_ me. I just, wanted to take what I could get, I guess.”

Freddy met his eyes, expression lit by the coming sunrise just enough for Billy to see. “Why?” he asked.

“I’m just making sure we’re on the same page so I won’t embarrass myself,” Billy said, then he scooted forward and pressed their lips together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the real hero of this story to shine—Sivana. (no, i'm just kidding, it's Mary!)

On Friday, classes let out for winter break. That night, Rosa and Victor corralled them all into the van for a few hours at the carnival, and Billy let himself sink into the white noise of the ride lights and sounds. 

He didn't think about his mom; though the memory tugged at him, just below the surface, Billy didn't feel a need to pull it back up. He focused on the now instead—winning a big, stuffed tiger for Darla and helping her name it. _Tawny_ , they decided. Teaming up with Freddy to beat Pedro and Eugene at the games, pleading with Rosa and Victor for more bills when they spent the ones they had, and going back just to lose again. 

Billy followed Freddy on and off all of the rides, pinching his eyes shut against the darkness as their cart spun or dipped or fell, and reaching out for Freddy’s hand without thinking, finding it each time along with a matching grin on Freddy’s face when he opened his eyes. At the top of the Ferris Wheel, he laughed into Freddy’s mouth, and it felt just like flying. 

Billy caught Mary’s raised eyebrow when they sat down for funnel cakes, but he just tapped her foot with his own beneath the picnic table and chewed through his smile. For the first time ever, Billy felt like he belonged somewhere. He just wished it hadn’t taken him so long to get there.

Freddy snickered into his hand at his own joke, and Mary rolled her eyes across from them. 

“I’m serious, Freddy. You need to think about what you want to do after graduation.”

“Sure, but, California? You think I could blend in with all those surfer types? I don’t think my crutch would do too good in sand.” 

“You’re stereotyping,” Mary said. “It’s not all beaches.” 

Freddy shrugged, and Billy watched him lick sugar off his fingers, thinking about the heat and the beach salt making pale freckles against Freddy’s skin as he tanned. 

Billy hadn’t bothered to think past graduation while with his mom, partly because he had no idea what he wanted to do and no one to help him figure it out, and partly because everything seemed far away and meaningless when you had superpowers—the powers ended up outshining everything else, even if you didn’t want them at first. Billy might not have wanted to be a hero the way Freddy did, but he saw the appeal now. His future had been decided for him, at least in that regard. 

But Freddy’s was open, now. He could go to school in California or anywhere else and leave Billy behind, tied to a city that didn’t really care about him. Billy wouldn’t ask him to stay, but the idea of Freddy leaving still soured Billy’s food in his mouth. 

He set his funnel cake down half-eaten, and let his vision blur against the lights spilling from the rides and out of the concession booths. Freddy and Mary kept talking beside him, but Billy didn’t pay attention to their words. He felt stupid, letting this turn his mood so suddenly, but he didn’t know how to stop. It felt like every time he thought he could finally be happy, something came along to prove him wrong.

He stared out at the crowd of winter coats and stuffed prizes. When his vision refocused, Billy saw a dark shape slinking off to his right and his chest tightened. He stood up abruptly.

“Billy?” Freddy asked, reaching for him, but Billy was looking around them. 

His family sat together at a nearby picnic table; Rosa had lain her head on Victor’s shoulder, laughing as Darla held up her sugar-coated fingers, and Pedro was listening as Eugene talked animatedly with his hands. People walked through the crowds around them, oblivious, as Billy spotted more dark shapes. The demons were closing in.

“He’s here,” Billy said, and in unison Freddy and Mary stood from the table. 

“Sivana?” Freddy asked, eyes tracking the crowd.

Billy nodded. “The Sins are here. I don’t know where, but Sivana has to be here too.”

Mary hugged her arms to herself, looking toward Rosa and Victor and the kids. “What do we do?”

“We don’t do anything,” Billy said. His heart pounded at the thought, but he knew this fight was something he had to face alone; he wouldn’t risk losing his family, not again. “It’s me he wants.”

He met Mary’s eyes and nodded toward the others. “You get them out of here, make sure they’re safe. I can handle this.” 

When Billy turned toward him, Freddy was shaking his head. “Don’t fight me on this, Freddy. You said it yourself and I’m not going to let you get killed. Help Mary get everyone out of here, okay? Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Freddy looked ready to argue, but he just swallowed and nodded, pulling Billy against him fast before letting go. “Promise me you won’t play the hero.”

“Isn’t that who I’m supposed to be?”

“You’re supposed to make it through this. Promise me.”

Billy nodded, because anything he could have said would feel like a lie. Then he turned and ran into the crowd, calling on the lightning as he went. 

The crowd parted with screams as it struck, scattering amidst the smoke that settled in the lightning's wake. Billy emerged as Red. He zapped the Sins as he found them, watching them dissolve and disperse, each returning to the same fixed point at the center of the carnival grounds. 

Sivana waited for him there, hovering several feet above the dead grass, the staff in hand. 

“Champion,” he called. “You don’t deserve that title.”

“And you do?” Billy asked, rising to look him in the eye.

“You’re nothing more than a boy, hardly more than a child. What makes you so special?”

Billy swallowed, fists clenching at his sides. He shook his head. “Nothing.”

Sivana frowned, and Billy thought back to all of the theories he and Blue had thrown out over the years to explain the doctor’s grudge. It had seemed stupid at the time, just something they did offhand to pass the time, but a throwaway line from Blue came back to him now. 

_Maybe he hates us because he thinks it should be him._

“There’s nothing special about me,” Billy said. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want it. I know I don’t deserve it, you don’t have to tell me that. But you hurt the one person who did, and for that you’re going to pay.”

Sivana’s surprise flashed as Billy darted forward, gripping the doctor’s throat in his hands and slamming them into the dirt. He recovered fast, though, flipping them over to pin Billy down and bringing his fist down against Billy’s face—his nose, his jaw, his cheek. 

Billy felt blood run, and knew this wasn’t a fight he could win. With Freddy’s powers, Sivana was stronger than him. He was more vicious than Billy could ever be, even with his family and his own life on the line. Billy couldn’t kill Sivana, but there had to be another way.

Sivana laughed, sharp and angry above him, and Billy felt his lungs scream in protest. Sivana's hands tightened around his throat and Billy choked, legs kicking uselessly as he struggled. 

“Hey, psycho!” 

The grip loosened, just enough for Billy to shove Sivana off. When he turned, he saw Mary, but she wasn’t alone; Freddy stood beside her, a wooden bat in one hand, and flanked on either side of them were Pedro, Eugene and Darla.

Billy’s heart did a stupidly high leap at the sight of them, but his head screamed in protest. “You shouldn’t be here!”

“Make us leave!” Freddy called back.

Sivana rose to his feet and looked between Billy and his family. For one terrifying moment, Billy thought he would kill them right then and there, with him watching, helpless—all it would take was lightning, and their bodies would fall like dominos. Instead, he did the next worst thing: Sivana turned on Billy and a dark cloud flowed out behind him, the Sins forming one by one to target Billy’s family. 

“No!” Billy screamed, stuck watching as Freddy swung his bat, only for Envy to phase into smoke and reappear behind him. The demon leapt and Freddy went down beneath it.

“You can stop this,” Sivana said. He pinned Billy to the base of the Ferris Wheel, the metal freezing his skin through his suit. “You can save them. You can earn the title of Champion. All it would take is one simple trade.”

“I’ll never give my powers to you,” Billy spat, against the blood and Sivana’s grip choking him.

“Very well,” Sivana said. “You can watch as your family dies, one by one at the hands of your own failings, and then you can die at my hand, knowing that you—”

Sivana turned. Billy fell to his knees as Sivana’s hand left his throat. He looked up to see the balloon dart protruding from his bald head, and past it, to the crazy, stupid, incredible person that threw it. Mary stood with her chin held high, the staff firm at her side.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt your big speech?” Mary asked, glaring at Sivana. “Did you drop this? Do you want it back?” She tilted the staff toward him, as if taunting a dog with a bone. “Come on, I’m waiting.”

Sivana ripped the dart from his skin, impaling it in the dirt at his feet, and flew straight at Mary. Mary held her ground, and Billy could only watch as Sivana went to yank the staff from her. Somehow, she held onto it, her voice ringing out around them as she yelled, “Shazam!”

Lightning struck. Sivana laid in the dirt, blood leaking from the wound in his head as the smoke cleared. Mary stood above him, her coat and leggings replaced with a twin red costume to Billy’s—her skirt lined with gold and her face illuminated by the blazing lightning bolt on her chest.

“Oh my god,” Mary said. She held the staff away from her, as if shocked at what she’d just done, then looked down at herself, flattening her hand over her skirt and chest, pulling static away with her fingers. “Oh my god, did I kill him?”

Billy struggled to his feet and met her halfway, gripping the staff in one hand and pulling her against him with the other. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“What are big sisters for, right?” Mary laughed, still a little stunned. 

They looked around them, picking out their siblings and the Sins from the surrounding panic, then met eyes. Mary nodded, and they split up.

Billy plucked Darla out of the dirt, where she was beating up Sloth with Tawny the stuffed tiger. Then Pedro, who had managed to keep Wrath occupied using the metal mallet from the strength tester game. 

He reconvened with Mary and the others in the animal tent, which was noticeably missing animals. It smelled like hay and shit, but it was a bright spot in the darkness for now. Billy set his siblings down and pulled Freddy against him, then pushed him away again to look him over. 

“I’m fine, stop staring at me,” Freddy said. His hair stuck up wildly and blood coated his eyebrow from a cut there, but otherwise he looked unharmed. 

Freddy turned to Mary and said, “So it worked? You got his powers?”

Mary nodded, then everyone looked at Billy. “What do we do now?”

“Sivana’s not dead.”

“And the Sins are still loose,” Freddy added.

Billy nodded. “Without the Champion’s powers, Sivana’s weaker. But he still has the Sin’s backing him.”

“We can’t take down one and leave the other, it has to be an all or nothing deal,” Freddy said. “Plan B: we keep the Sins out of his eye and you rip it out while he’s down.”

“Ew,” Darla said.

Freddy shrugged, “No one said being a—”

“Freddy, stop saying that. It doesn’t even make sense,” Mary cut in. “Is everyone on board with the plan?”

In unison, everyone nodded, but Billy held up his hands. “No.”

“No? Do you have a better one?”

“No, the plan is fine. But I’m not letting you all back out there just to get hurt again. Not without a way to protect yourselves.” When Freddy met his eyes, Billy could tell he understood. 

“Will it work? Mary took Sivana’s powers after he took them from me. But we still don’t know if you can share them.”

“We can try,” Billy said. “But only if everyone agrees.”

“Guys?” Freddy asked, looking between his siblings, and one by one they nodded, fear and excitement and determination spreading across their faces. 

“Okay,” Billy said. He nodded to Mary across from him, and she set the staff at the center of their tight circle. “All hands on deck.”

The Vasquez family placed their hands on the staff, and together Billy and Mary said, “Say our name.”

Pedro frowned, Eugene looked between them in confusion, and Darla said, “Um.”

Freddy took his hand off the staff, said, “Shazam. They mean, say Shazam. Idiots,” then put his hand back. 

“Shazam!” They yelled, their chorus capped with a blaze of lightning. A summer storm bursting to life in the middle of a Philadelphia winter carnival. When the smoke cleared, Freddy’s crutch was on the ground and Billy was left looking at five identical superheros. Only their suits told them apart—Silver, Green, Purple, Red, and Blue.

Billy grinned as relief flooded through him. 

“Oh wow, look at you!” Darla said, laughing as she took them each in: Pedro, his round face split around a grin as he flexed his arms to show off his new muscles, and Eugene, his fingers sparking, while Darla’s own cape fluttered around her as if she’d spun in place, though Billy hadn’t seen her move. “Mom’s going to be so mad at us.” 

“Rosa and Victor’s Judgement Day can wait,” Freddy said, folding his arms, but the points of his teeth hinted at a grin. Billy didn’t miss the fact that his boots weren’t touching the ground. “First we have to stop the real thing.”

“Are you calling Sivana the devil?” Mary asked.

Freddy shrugged, “If the nail fits.”

“Oh my god,” Mary started, then broke into a laugh. “You’re doing that on purpose.”

Billy pulled everyone’s attention back to him with a clap of his hands. “Guys, focus. Does everyone understand the plan? Eugene and Darla, you help get people out of here, take them as far away as possible. Mary, Pedro, keep the Sins distracted until I can—” Billy ran a hand over his mouth, “ _—rip_ Sivana’s eye out. Ugh. Freddy—”

“I’m with you.” Freddy lifted an eyebrow in anticipation of Billy’s argument and shook his head. “We’re not separating again. We’re taking that asshole down together or not at all.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He met everyone’s eyes, one by one, then nodded. “Good luck.”

 

They left the tent like a firework show—in a burst of color and light and sound.

When they reached the Ferris Wheel, Freddy looked at Billy and asked, “Ready?”

“Not at all,” Billy said. Their knuckles brushed at their sides, barely making contact, but it was enough to push Billy forward, to where Sivana was waiting.

Envy crouched at the doctor’s side, shifting sideways to merge into him before pulling itself back out again. Unlike the other six Sins, Billy had never seen Envy outside of Sivana before tonight. He hadn’t put thought into why before, but the reason seemed obvious now. 

The other Sins might be able to influence him, but Envy was Sivana’s own personal demon—he couldn’t be without it; he didn’t know how.

“It doesn’t have to end this way,” Billy called. “You can still choose to do the right thing.”

Sivana’s smile was cold, stretching the lines of his face toward cracking. The sight reminded Billy of the Sins themselves, like living stone, always on the verge of shattering to pieces if pushed far enough. 

“You think just because you are winning that you are superior,” Sivana said. “So why do you hesitate to kill me? It is because you understand the appeal. Envy is no stranger to you.” Sivana stroked the top of the demon’s rough skull, as if petting a cherished pet. “We’re alike, you and I. We share it.”

“They’re influencing you,” Billy tried to reason. “They’re lying to you, you have to see that. They’re using you to get what they want, but you’re nothing to them. They’ll kill you without hesitation when you’ve served your purpose. But you could stop this. There’s still time.”

Freddy shifted behind him—Billy could feel him there like a shadow, tense and waiting. He wouldn’t move until Billy did, but Billy could sense his displeasure, despite Freddy’s repeated objections to Billy’s fight-first mentality. He knew Billy was only stalling.

Sivana must have known too. “That would all be very compelling, if I weren’t already aware. How naive, to think I didn’t want this.” 

The fight came suddenly, and Billy wasn’t ready for it.

Sivana didn’t move, but Envy did; the demon lunged forward, landing hard on Billy’s chest and bringing its short, sharp claws down to rake against his face, his throat, his chest. 

Freddy ripped the demon off and threw it to the ground, but it phased into smoke before he could follow it down. It resolidified behind him and pounced, bringing them both to the dirt where they rolled as Freddy struggled for the upper hand. 

Billy let his body take over, working on instinct, and managed to get Freddy back on his feet. They pressed back-to-back, keeping the demon at bay with lightning and well-timed hits. Envy fought the same way it appeared in you: fast and dirty, without pattern or thought. It took all of their concentration to hold it off, and even then Billy could feel the fight draining out of him after several minutes. He heard Freddy’s uneven breathing behind him and knew they were losing ground. 

That’s when the rest of the Sins joined in, circling Envy and flanking Sivana on both sides. Mary and Pedro followed, their suits bright flashes of red and green as they battled the outlying Sins in Billy’s peripheral, keeping them from reaching the spot Billy and Freddy held.

“New plan,” Freddy said, “Leave me Envy.”

“You said no more splitting up!”

“I lied! We have to end this.” Freddy ducked to avoid Envy’s swipe, and the demon’s claw ripped down Billy’s spine. He crumpled, but Freddy caught his elbow and held him up.

“Freddy—” Billy turned, wanting to argue but knowing it would only endanger them both. Envy swirled around them, then reappeared behind Freddy just as he pushed Billy away. 

“Go, now. Rip it out!” Freddy yelled, just managing to avoid Envy’s next strike. He flew off, leaving Billy and his argument behind as he shouted taunts at the demon, and Envy followed after him with a vicious snarl.

Billy pulled himself together, then turned and flew in the opposite direction. 

Sivana watched the chaos around him with a blank expression. When Billy landed in front of him, their eyes met, and Billy knew the only thing stopping them from winning was his own hesitation. Without the Sins, Sivana was powerless. He was mortal. And he knew it.

“Give me one good reason not to do this,” Billy said.

“Go ahead.” Sivana didn’t try to run or fight. He stood his ground and waited, arms folded and mouth a flat line.

When Billy looked at him he saw himself, or what he might have become had he not had Freddy and his family to fall back on, to pull him out of his own misery and self-destruction. Billy didn’t see a monster, or even someone bad; he saw a choice, and that was what drove him forward, what propelled him as he pinned Sivana to the cold metal of the Ferris Wheel base and dug his fingers into the wet flesh around the doctor’s glassy eye.

Billy saw his own insecurities and demons; his complicated and now nonexistent relationship with his mom; his fears and wants and secrets, and how they had shaped him into the person he was right now. Billy saw Freddy, on the ground in the wake of having his powers taken, and knew he was doing the right thing.

The eye came loose with a sick, solid pop, and Sivana crumpled to the dirt. 

The Sins stopped fighting. Billy held the eye up in blood-slick fingers, and the Sins returned to it in screeching, swirling shadows, a whirlwind of chaotic energy narrowing down to a single, blazing point in his hand. 

When it was over, Billy looked up to find his family—bloody, shaken, but alive.

 

Billy took the stairs with slow, deliberate steps. The entire way down he debated with himself, going back and forth and back again, on if he really wanted to do this, and by the time he made it to the apartment door he still hadn’t decided, but he knocked anyway.

It was just like every time before, the wait after knocking, when he would stand balanced on a stranger’s front porch between two fixed points—home and another disappointment. Except this time Billy wasn't waiting for the person on the inside to reveal which it would be. He already knew.

The door opened and his mom stood there, her expression shifting from surprise to dread to something else in the few seconds it took for her to take in his face. Billy waited, then couldn’t wait any longer. “Hi, mom.”

His mom’s battle with herself played out on her face before she sighed, then she pulled the door closed behind her and stepped into the hallway with him. “What are you doing here?”

Billy swallowed. He hadn’t planned what he was going to say, mostly because he knew if he had tried, if he thought further than just getting to this point or past the action of knocking on the door, he would have talked himself out of coming. 

That wouldn’t have been a bad thing; there was no real reason for him to come here, other than the small, unsatisfied part of him that wanted closure, or something more than what he’d gotten the last time he left. But now that he was standing here, face to face with his mom, Billy felt like he couldn’t leave again without saying something first.

So he said, “I didn’t tell Rosa and Victor what you did. I didn’t want them to blame you, because I don’t blame you, even though I know I should. I just wanted to say that I’m doing good—I’m happy, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

Billy looked away from his mom’s face, sideways down the hallway and then back toward the other end, faded pink doors and walls continuing past his focus. He expected his mom to turn away, but when he looked back she was still there in front of him. 

Her hair was coming loose from its pins and the makeup she wore didn't work to cover up the tired circles lining her eyes. 

Maybe it was Billy’s fault—maybe he’d wanted her to love him so desperately that he had looked for any proof of it. Maybe inside he was just the scared little boy he’d always been, constantly reaching out for a hand that wasn’t there. There were a lot of maybe’s, but none of them really mattered now. Billy had made his choices, and his mom had made hers. And now, standing on the threshold opposite her, he could see them laid out plainly.

“What I really want to say is that I’m not angry anymore. I found people who love me and who treat me the way I deserve, and I wanted you to feel bad, knowing that. But I don’t want that, anymore. Because I’m better than that.”

From inside the apartment, Travis called, “Marilyn, who’re you talking to?”

His mom looked over her shoulder, then hesitated, as if unsure who’s worry to soothe. Billy decided for her. “I hope you can live with yourself one day,” he said, and despite how the words might have sounded, he didn’t feel any bitterness as he said them. 

Billy didn’t understand his mom’s demons, but he hoped that some day she would realize she was better than them. That she deserved better, the way he had.

Billy turned away from her and soaked in the relief the action brought him as he took the stairs back up, shouldering the access door open and emerging onto the roof. Freddy waited for him there there, his cape moving against the back of his thighs with the wind. 

He turned when Billy approached, trying to mask his concern and absolutely failing. The sight pulled at something warm and confident inside Billy’s chest, and he knew he’d made the right decision. Walking away from his mom had been hard, both times. But choosing happiness—his family and his future and Freddy—that was easy. As easy as coming home.

“What’d she say?” Freddy asked.

Billy shook his head. He called on the lightning and closed his eyes, knowing he looked stupid and that Freddy probably thought he was losing it, or worse, regretting this. 

“Nothing,” he answered. “But I didn’t need her to say anything.”

Freddy nodded, and Billy knew he understood. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to—” There were a million ways he could end that sentence, a thousand just speaking to Freddy alone, but he didn’t know how to say everything he wanted to. Billy didn’t know how to explain the choice he’d made downstairs, one he’d already made weeks or even months ago, without realizing at the time. One he would make again and again and again and never once doubt it.

But Freddy shook his head. He laughed, a small, perfect sound, and pulled Billy against him. Billy could feel Freddy’s heat through their suits and he let himself sink into it, into Freddy’s grip on his side and the sure, solid feeling of him.

“I know. But you got there, that’s what matters.”

Billy nodded. He followed behind Freddy as they flew away, east toward Center City, leaving the apartment and everything before it behind.

Billy was worried he would feel something, that regret would slip in as the apartment shrunk out of sight, but aside from the cold wind and the damp night air hitting his face, there was nothing. Only a thick, warm feeling spreading against his ribs—the same feeling he got after the fight with Sivana, when he was pulled flush between Freddy and Mary as their family reunited with cheers and cries of disbelief. Or when Freddy laughed, teeth appearing with his grin, and Billy savored the fact that he'd been the one to pull that sound from him. A mixture of full-bodied relief and love and awe.

His future was in front of him, and though the idea scared him shitless, Billy wouldn’t be facing it alone. 


End file.
